Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Lots of things to talk about today

Wow work was so full on today.  1 hour and 45 minute teleconference and before it I was so worried I wasn't going to have a job because of the sale of the company but I do for now and won't decide until February next year.

I feel like I am a good worker and a lot of the Directors have told the owner of the new company that they all want me... they all can't with the new company so hey.... but I would love to work with any of them as they are a great bunch of people.

So I enjoyed work today.

Went out to get the boys an electric guitar today too.... soooooo cool it is black with a little bit of white and you get the amp, strap, strings, case and I really feel like they are going to love it.  We decided that we would only get one and they can share for now just in case they loose interest in the guitar.

When Jeremy got home we went in to practice our guitar.  We are enjoying it so much.  The boys have been learning for a year and decided that they would teach us how to play.  They taught us 2 chords and we have been practising like you wouldn't believe because we are enjoying it.... OMG sometimes I reckon you should learn an instrument when you get older as you appreciated practicing more lol.  So tonight we showed the boys what we have been practicing and they decided that we needed another challenge so we are now learning the chords for "why does love do this to me?" by the Exponents OMG soooo cool we are learning music more than just "what do we do with a drunken sailor" lol.

Christmas is so upon us isn't it... is anyone else as nervous as I am... I am nervous because the year has gone so fast it feels like it is only christmas last year and where did the year go?

Jeremy and I have been tracking for the last two nights for the next day and propointing it so that we are aware of what we are eating.  I can't say that today's food was wonderful but I tracked and I am more aware of what is going in my mouth.  This first week is going to be really being honest with myself and when I am hungry and if I am hungry or bored. 

I will leave this post with a little laugh

My oldest son came to give me a hug goodnight and his hair tickled my neck and he just laughed and said he wanted to hug me again (because he knew I am ticklish) and I said to him no I am ticklish now lol and he said "Oh was it my moustache" OMG I cracked up laughing because he is 12 years old and there is not even bum fluff on the upper lip... he thought he was soooo funny and he was LOL

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Sorting out my life AGAIN

I worry too much sometimes.  I went from 160 kgs in 2005 to 2008 and lost 40.2 kgs and then life got in the way in 2008 and things happened in my life with my mum and lots of other things that I gave up on my weight loss as other things were more important.

I have to realise that I cannot look after my family if I don't look after myself.

Jeremy and I went for a walk tonight while mum looked after the boys so that we could talk about my situation.  I am not happy and I am gaining more and more because of not caring and it isn't good enough anymore.

The thing is... is that I have to want to lose weight.  When I had my blog before I lost weight because I found like minded people doing the same thing and trying to lose weight and my blog was for me to get things off my chest.  So I am doing this again.  I am going to get the weight off that I have gained back in the last couple of years and then keep on going.

I think when I got down to 119 kgs (after being 160 kgs) that I felt comfortable and I didn't have a reason to lose the weight because I was happy.  I need to work out how to get past that and be happier and lose more weight.  They say at Weight Watchers that I should be between 56 kgs and 66 kgs OMG soooo not how I see it realistically.  I think 80 kgs is something I will aim for as I can see that and I can see me getting down there but 66 kgs hmmmmm not for me right now.

I have always had this urge to run and to go out for a run after work etc.  I want to be able to do that.  I want to get to the stage where I feel fit enough that that can happen.

In the past 7 years I am with the same job (well sort of) but my job has changed 7 times (and twice this year and it looks like there will be another change) I am a little sick of going through all the grief of maybe losing my job and it is a big strain on me and my family.  I do think that if I lost weight that I would be a little more confident in finding another job maybe? Hmmmmm we shall see.

There is a 10km walk/run here in May 2012 so I am aiming for that at the moment.  Jeremy is going to work on a training program to get to 10km walk being an easy thing for me by the time it comes around.  So that is 6 months of training.

I have done 3 triathalons, Bootcamp, Tough Guy/Gal challenge (thru mud and confidence course) (in the time that I went from 160kg to 119 kgs), but since then I have slacked and my fitness is not good at all. 

Our first goal is to work out the food and track.  Tracking is the thing I need to sort out. Start with one thing and master it and then go on to another.

I can do this... I know I can... now I need to put it in to practice.